ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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