Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
