then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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