Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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