he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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