Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
