I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
