Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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