Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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