I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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