no. you can't hotbox the world.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
