Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
