I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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