also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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