if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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