gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
