I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
