I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
