Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
