you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
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I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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