jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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