I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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