what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
