he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
