just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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