also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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