16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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