capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Success! We fucked roommates!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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