you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
