Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
