We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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