Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
