PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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