Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
