Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry my hands just texted you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize