No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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