I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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