I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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