Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
MIDGETS
????
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
