Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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