We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
