Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
