A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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