i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
