I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
