my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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