what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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