the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dicks are not precious.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
