lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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