got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
