Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize