We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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