I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
