im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize