All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My life is pants optional.
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