if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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