I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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