I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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