I don't usually arrange sex via text message
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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